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Recently, a parent shared with me that her daughter rarely tells her anything that she learns at school. This is not an uncommon phenomenon. It happens daily with children preschool through college. As parents, we have invested a lot (blood, sweat, tears, life-lessons,love and money) to give our children the advantages they need to not just survive in this world, but flourish! Of course we are eager to hear stories of how our investments are paying dividends. Some parents are fortunate (though, at times they don’t think so) in that they have born a child who likes to share every minute detail of every activity. These parents know everything about school, even what color pen the teacher used on the white board that day. Where’s the happy medium?

First off, for the parents who have the rare child that tells them everything, make sure you make time to sit down, give them your full attention and listen attentively. This is a very special gift your child is giving you, even though at times it seems a bit overwhelming! If you can’t listen when they want to talk (which is just about always!) plan a time or times during the day (during a walk together, after dinner, during bathtime, snuggled in bed) when you can listen. If your child knows there is a time of day (try to make it a consistent time each day) where you will give him/her your full attention they are more apt to save their stories until then. If your child is constantly requesting your attention and you are busy with another task and can’t stop to listen, reassure your child that you will listen carefully at your designated time and ask them to save their story until then. If your child is afraid they’ll forget, start a list. Ask your child for just one or two words which will help them remember the story. Bring the list to your listening time.

For the parents of 99% of the children who don’t want to take the time to talk about past events, here are some helpful hints to extract information from your child.

1.Give your child time to unwind. We all need time to decompress after a long day (read the newspaper, watch a little tv) and then we’re ready to interact and share interesting facts about our day. Your child is no different from you. He/she needs time to unwind too. Generally by dinner time most everyone has had time to regroup. It is often a great time to gather around the table and share stories of the day. If you begin by sharing, your child will be eager to share about his/her day too. Consider beginning a tradition of each family member sharing a good and a not so good thing that happened today during meal time.

2.Children learn from modeling. Modeling is an important piece of teaching a child. When you share events of your day with your child, model to him/her the types of things you would like your child to share with you. An example: “Today at work my project was to ________________________. It was a lot of work. I got tired of doing it, but I still had to do ____________________________. I was very happy with myself when I completed my work.

3.Play guessing games. Every child loves a game! Get them started by trying to guess the routine of their day. “The first thing you did today was take a nap! No? Oh you played? You played with Santa Claus today! No? Who did you play with? Oh, you, Peter, and John put together 25 puzzles today. No? You built a bridge for the cars. WOW! That must have been a lot of work. What was your job in building the bridge? I bet a lucky leprechaun sneeked into your classroom and put the bridge away? No? Who helped put the bridge away? So after you put the bridge away you had nap time. No? Oh, you went to circle time. At circle time you sang about lucky leprechauns. No? Oh you used instruments when you sang, and then you took a nap, no? Oh you made patterns with cubes, what did your pattern look like? Can you draw it for me?”

4.Use open ended questions whenever possible. Try to avoid yes/no questions. Try asking questions which require a full sentence such as, “tell me two friends you played with in the gym?” “Show me three warm-up exercises you did in PE today?” “What was your morning chart question? How did you answer the question?” “Who was the reading helper today?” “What did you read today?” “Name two of your favorite activities today.”

5.Talk about the children he/she knows. Children often open up when they are asked about friends they like interacting with.

6.Give yourself an extra 5 or 10 minutes to spend with your child at school. You can learn much about your child’s day when drop off and pick up times are unrushed. Your child will be delighted to show you around the classroom. Take time to meet your child’s friends, look at projects on the wall, activities set up in the classroom, and your child’s notebook. Even if you don’t have time now to talk about what you see, they will be excellent conversation starters later in the day.

7.Listen to your child! When your child is ready to talk, avoid asking too many questions at this time. Take time to pause. Children gain confidence as they relate their day and you affirm them.

KIDSPACE Child Enrichment Center is a Child Care Vancouver, WA, and Preschool Vancouver, WA that also provides After School Programs in Vancouver, WA. Feel free to visit our website and browse our blog that is just for parents.

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I knew my husband would have enough hobbies when he retired last February at the tender age of 51. At least I though he would until last summer when he discovered squirrels in our then-robust garden. Much to his disgust our beloved cucumbers were being munched upon, when our backs were turned, by the colonies of squirrels invading our turf.

Off to the Internet he went to search for a humane rodent trap. Many clicks and e-mails later, voila! He turned up a site which was more than willing to ship the much-needed trap within the week.

Waiting impatiently for his new toy, my husband watched with dismay as cucumber after cucumber was disassembled by the voracious squirrels that happily paid us a visit. Finally the package arrived! The family watched with amusement as Dad unwrapped his new acquisition, hardly holding back his excitement. “Quick! Get me some peanuts!” he yelped to anyone within hearing range. Armed with trap and peanuts in hand out he went into the garden to deposit his prize.

Glancing out the window now and again, we’d see one squirrel after another crawl down the fence cautiously to inspect the new addition to the garden. No luck. A few times the trap was tripped and the peanuts were missing; then other times it was tripped with the peanuts still intact. “That’s it!” my husband cried. “We need a squirrel-cam!” The family looked at each other and groaned. Oh no, another toy for Dad! But one morning as Dad and I were in bed, we heard a very audible and metallic “clunk!” We both uttered, “Uh Oh!” and jumped up to run to the window. Sure enough, there it was, our first prisoner! My husband jumped up and down in sheer glee – I had to stop him from racing down the stairs in his birthday suit.

I never saw him dress so fast. He was out the door like a bullet to gather up the trap with the growling squirrel. He searched in the garage for something with a long handle to release the squirrel after transporting it far enough away from our neighborhood, deposited the trap and an old broom handle in the trunk of our car, jumped into the front seat and roared away with his prize.

Now 33 squirrels later, it is now November and the peanut-laden trap is still in the barren garden awaiting its next victim. The family quizzes Dad, wondering why we still need a trap in the garden. Dad exclaims, “Well, now the squirrels are ruining my lawn by digging holes for their peanuts!” But we all know differently, Dad has a new hobby!

(Ed.Note: none of the squirrels were harmed in any way – they were all transported safely to a nearby forest to resume their squirrel-ish ways!)

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New column lets you know what’s going on this summer in low-cost entertainment; see video
As a recent college graduate, managing my money is more important to me than ever, but I still want to a memorable and fantastic summer. I can’t help but wonder: Is it possible to have a fun summer without sinking deeper into debt?